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Seven Year Old Unable to Maintain a Single Cohesive Storyline


I was recently surfing on the interwebs and decided to visit America's most trusted news source, The Onion. Out of all the different articles(all of which are completely true) that popped up, one in particular caught my interest the most. The article was titled 7-Year-Old Unable To Maintain Single Cohesive Storyline While Playing With Action Figures. The story grabbed my attention due to the fact that I love a good action figure showdown, and that this child could not tell a proper story with them somewhat bothered me. The author of this article is not stated, but the entire article consists of them criticizing the seven year old Brendan Milner, and describing how all onlookers did as well.

Of course it is proper to critique someone who is not able to maintain a coherent storyline, especially while playing with action figures. This is especially true if those action figures are Iron Man and John Cena. However, Milner is only a child and therefore is likely to jump from plot line to plot line due to his short attention span. In fact, when I was a child I did exactly what Brendon did, because I wanted variety in my story. Despite this, the author's logic is still sound, it doesn't make any sense to have both characters fighting and then make them suddenly become best friends.

The story ultimately becomes impossible to follow for any onlookers due to the irrational plot, but it does make it more interesting for the child. Ultimately the author's rhetorical technique was persuasive and effective in conveying the situation, and demonstrating that Brendon is not good at telling stories. This is true except for one flaw at the end of the article where the author states: “...the ending of his storyline, in which a giant 7-year-old boy came down from the sky and destroyed the Earth, was an excellent twist.” This statement contradicts everything previously stated in the article which ruins his logic entirely.
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Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 5, 2016 at 5:07 PM

    Good job Zach. Poor kid, cant just play in peace. Good post though with good points.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 5, 2016 at 5:30 PM

    I agree with you, Zach. The author is writing an entire article claiming that this seven year old uses far too many plot twists. The large amount of plot changes create a story virtually impossible to follow. How then could the author claim that a final plot twist is, first of all, any different from those previous, and second of all, "excellent" when those talked about before were shown in a negative light? The author has clearly contradicted himself and his logic.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MikeOctober 6, 2016 at 2:41 PM

    Leave the kid alone. Iron Man fights with his best friend in one of the movies. You do you Brendan.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ChristianOctober 6, 2016 at 5:53 PM

    The skill of adding a good plot twist to a story is very impressive and is only perfected after lots of practice. It is very sad to see this author making fun of a child for practicing the art of a plot twist. It is important for a person to start developing skills for their careers later in life so that they can become real masters of their trade.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Samuel WhitingOctober 12, 2016 at 11:23 AM

    I liked this post, but they should just leave the kid alone to play and be a kid. But it is interesting. Good job Zach.

    ReplyDelete

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